Dilemma

A wrong decision right from the start, spells disaster.
If you dun wake up in time to check on it,
it grows immersely overnight and you sink deeper into it.
Once you are in it, its difficult to get out of it.

It's like miry clay or quicksand,
it sucks you in so easily like a vacuum cleaner,
yet it makes escape such a challenge,
that you just wanna give up and sink in altogether.

I wanna get out of it so badly,
but I'm caught in between,
bcos both offers comfort and relief to me,
in some way or other.

I sense troubles a-coming soon.
I can't hide from this secret anymore.
I wanna stop leading you on blindly,
to let you know to stop wasting your time.

I have asked and prayed for guidance.
No reply.
I'm getting impatient, that's for sure,
but I know its not time to know yet.

Define "correct timing" to me.
Erase that feeling that creeps within me,
that lusts after my heart day and night.
I need to stop thinking about this.

I'm messing up myself now.
I'm contradicting my words once again.
What happened to all my resolutions I've made?
Forgotten, buried or gone from my memories?